Dynamite's Diary - 29th April 2022

I don't really know what to think of this. I'm so sure that it's gonna bite me in the ass later on, but I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Like March, April was not a good month for sorting out my bedroom. I've been busy meeting up with friends and (somewhat) busy with schoolwork. Besides, I blew most of my allowance on Easter eggs and chocolate bunnies. As well as eggs and bunnies for my dad to eat. Couldn't even buy his own. It seemed that all that bedroom stuff wouldn't even get brought up.

Until today. Boy, I did not expect things to take this turn.

So I was having another one of my milkshakes whilst out and about this morning. I had to give it an extra sniff first just in case someone tampered with it. I've been super wary of what I'm drinking ever since that April Fool's prank Dad played on me where he switched out my milkshake for chicken and tomato soup. I pretty much spewed that out everywhere when I took my first gulp. Right in front of everyone in the school canteen. Gemma and Lottie laughed their asses off the whole time. Don't get me wrong, I love chicken and tomato soup as much as the next person, but not in that context.

All of a sudden, I caught sight of a suspicious figure at the end on the street I was walking down. A figure that happened to be wearing several bandages and carrying a machete, all whilst wearing awkwardly high stilettos.

And I was just thinking "Oh no, not again". Yep, there was Kinsey and I just KNEW that she was going to try and take my head off again.

Good thing I was able to prepare myself in time. As soon as she caught wind of me, she ran up and leap at me with the sword pointed towards my face. I just moved out of the way and let her crash into the ground in the process.

She was super peeved when she got off the ground. "Goddammit, let me kill you!"

Well, why would I let her? I just kept fighting back. And I have to admit, I did a pretty good job of it. I even managed to grab her blade WITHOUT cutting myself and swing her off to the side.

That said, she was one hell of a determined maniac. She just kept getting up like nothing happened. And considering that she had a sword on her and I had no weapons for once, I was pretty sure that she would get a blow on me eventually. So I decided to reason with her.

"Look, I know you're still mad about what happened back in December. Sure. And some people have a hard time letting go on anything." I nearly winced when saying this, thinking about Dad and the issues he was struggling with last year in the process.

That's when I made the most insane deal I could offer. "Look, I'm trying to get my new bedroom sorted out and it's taking practically FOREVER. Um, maybe if I haven't got it sorted out by the end of the year, you can come for me then."

Look, I was under extreme pressure, wasn't I? Maybe if I wasn't having a sword waved in my face, I would have said something different?

Kinsey actually seemed surprised at first, and then grinned a little bit. Sure, it was kind of a sinister one, but also a genuinely interested one.

"Huh. That sounds kinda interesting. Let me guess, it's gonna be some weird goth freak drab, right?"

"It's gonna be super cool and you're gonna be SO ashamed of yourself when you get to see it." I bigged myself up quite a bit, though in reality I felt kinda awkward about the whole thing.

"And you said by the end of the year you'll get it done?"

"New Year's Eve to be exact. Exactly midnight. So is that a deal?"

Kinsey shrugged. "Hmph, sure thing. Whatever you say." And so she left me alone.

She did give me an extra death glare before leaving though, along with a creepy grin. "But if you fail, just remember..." She flicked the sword near me just to prove her point further.

Now thanks to that meeting, I've got more pressure on than before. I get my room sorted out before the end of the year, and Kinsey leaves me alone. I fail, and she has the right to take my head off.

Hey, on the bright side, it sure motivates me to get a move on. I'm thinking the fighting route would be a good way to get money for the room for starters, given the training I've got. Plus, maybe with all the practice, I'll have a way to defend myself should Kinsey win this little "bet" of ours...

Boomstick's Diary - 1st April 2022

Well the notebook I usually use to record my thoughts has gone missing somehow, so I had to ask Dynah for a favor in borrowing hers. Her (somewhat reluctant) answer was that I could, but I had to tear out the papers I wrote on afterwards so it didn't get mixed up with her writing. My daughter makes such a fuss about stuff like that. I really don't get it.

Anyway, April Fool's Day happened today. And I damn well LOVE it, but if there's anything I learnt today, it's that my co-workers really don't know how to take a joke. It's freaking April Fool's Day for crying out loud! Isn't that the point?!

All I did this morning was send Mechagoose amock amok in Wiz's lab for a bit of fun to surprise him when he came in. Sure, those scorch marks in the walls from where he shot lazar lazers at them will probably take time to remove and they'll be a lot of cleaning up to do with the broken test tubes, but I don't get why Wiz made such a fuss of it.

"That's not a practical joke! That's just messing up my lab!" he complained. Seriously, that guy can be no fun at times. He really needs to lighten up.

He complained again when I set off a stink bomb in the same lab an hour later. Hey, one practical joke just isn't enough. Joclin Jocelyn complained too when I placed a snake under her chair in her office, even though I made sure it was a milk snake, not a coral one. And then Marshall of all people complained later on because I placed a spider in his hair when he wasn't looking and it somehow took him ages to get it out and his hair got all scruffy as a result. There's WORST things in life than a bad hair day. 

Not that they have any right to complain anyway. Just before lunch, I had one of my beers as usual and for once it was AWFUL. In fact, it pretty much set my mouth on fire. And for some reason it tasted like pepper.

I saw Wiz standing across the kitchen and he had this shit-eating smirk on his face as he held a bottle of chilli sauce out. I mean, come on! What kind of a joke is that?! A rather tasteless one, I can tell you. In more ways than one of course.

"Hey, no fair!" I mean, it really wasn't. I had to rush to the men's about three times for the rest of the day.

Wiz was all like "What, it's April Fool's Day!" whilst trying to restrain that chuckling of his. "You're not the only one with any rights to steal all the fun!"

Then when I was in the toilets trying to relieve myself, it turned out that Marshall had fixed up a freakish clown thingy to spring out of the toilet bowl at me as soon as I entered. He knows I hate those things! Scared the living daylights out of me. He even left his autograph behind so he could claim credit for it. And THEN as I was leaving, Justlin Jocelyn had placed a pile of superglue outside to trap me. I could tell it was her because she was walking away with a tub of it in her hand. Took me some time to clean it off my shoes.

Well, that did it! Revenge time! As soon as they were about to have their lunch, I slipped a combination of chilli sauce and beer into their sandwiches. The faces they made when they ate them were absolutely priceless. X)

"You can't do that!" Wiz moaned at me. "It's already past 12! You know that just makes you the April Fool! Besides, I already called dibs on the chilli sauce prank!"

Of course, as soon as he said it, it turned out that he'd slipped toothpaste and (god forbid) pickle into my squirrel burger. Ew! And also, what a hippocr hypocrite! I could tell it was him because he tried to stifle another chuckle.

So then around early afternoon, I set up some guns near the toilets that blasted the others with milkshake when they tried to enter them. I actually borrowed those milkshakes from Dynah, though she doesn't know. She told me later on when I got home that she didn't get why they were full of chicken and tomato soup when she got them out for her own lunch. Hey, I couldn't leave her out of the fun, right?

I also made sure to use Mechagoose again if they were able to make it into the toilets, even though Wiz had to be a killjoy by complaining that I already used the same joke earlier and that it would take ages to fix the place up as a result. But then they had to respond by ganging up with one another and setting things up so I'd get stuck in webbing everytime I tried to get a beer from the cuberd cupboard. Oh, and Wiz decided to rig up DUMMI to shoot extra webbing and lazers out at me too when I entered the bathroom again. Bet DUMMI himself wasn't happy either.

It would take too long to list all of the pranks we played on each other. But they were all pretty epic. Well, mine were the most epic, but I guess I have to give the others credit too. At one point, there was a SERIOUS moment of confusion between Wiz and Marshall, which resulted in them pranking DUMMI with Mechagoose (I don't know who came up with that idea, or whether I was meant to be the target or not).

It all came to a head this evening. I wanted to trick the others into getting into an intervention with Mechagoose and several sets of paint and cheetos in the presention presentation room. I went out of my way to make sure that THIS would be the prank of the day.

And it worked! Well, sort of. Wiz and Marshall were covered in paint and cheetos when I arrived and Marshal Marshall was trying to get some out of his hair. I couldn't stop laghing laughing at how silly they looked.

But for whatever reason, Jostlin Jocelyn seemed to have avoided it. Well, she wasn't there, so she must have been somewhere else. So I thought it would be best to check her office to see if she was still there. Probably goofing off in there or something like that.

It's really easy to make out where her office is. The door has a massive doodle of a dog on the front. I actually put it there myself, and I'm quite proud of it. As soon as I found it, I opened the door.

That's when the grossest white liquid shot out from behind the door and I got COATED in it. It was so sticky! It was actually marshmallow (I could tell; I got some of it in my mouth), but it seriously looked more like jizz to me. Wizz Wiz himself (hey, that rhymes) was just cackling his head off, which didn't help at all.

That was the most pissed off I got today! I just assumed that it was another elaborate prank that the others had come up with. And for once, I was actually thinking of throwing my beer onto them rather than just come up with another practical joke. Until I heard the voice on the other side of the door as it opened.

"Ah shit! Thought that was your friends there! You alright, sweetie?"

I couldn't BELIEVE it. "Mama?! What are you doing here?!"

Mama was standing there sheepishly with a giant water pistol in her hands. "Sorry 'bout that. I came all the way here to join in the fun myself. Your Ringmaster bud was telling me on the phone about what you were getting up to. I thought the broom closet would be the best place to hide, but...yeah, my apologies."

Come on. How could I bring myself to revenge prank my dear sweet mama in return?! So I didn't. We just laughed about it together. And then, bless her soul, she was kind enough to get me cleaned up. Wiz's jaw was just gaping open the whole time. It was quite the sight to behold.

I got to tell her EVERYTHING. The Mechagoose incident, the snake prank, the spider gag, you name it. She told me that I was pretty much a genius (see, she understands!) and that it was pretty much the same with her back in high school. It was a blast hanging out with her today.

Wiz just said "Wow, you two really ARE alike!" and had this smirk on his face. I'm not sure whether it was a sheepish one like Mama's one earlier on or not, but whatever.

After that, I decided that I'd had enough pranks for today and that it was time to go home. Carrying them out can get really exhasting exhausting after a while, especially if they descend into prank wars. There were some more I'd really LOVE to have done this year, but I guess I'll have to wait for another time. 

Though I will admit that I did sneak a beer or two into one of Wiz's protein shakes before he went to bed tonight. Still haven't forgotten the chilli sauce incident. Plus, no such thing as too many pranks in one day, am I right? Boy he's gonna have such a hangover when he wakes up. X)

Hypocrisies with the others aside...today was actually pretty fun! Getting pranked by the others aside, of course. I really need to up my game next year. Maybe there's something else I can do with Mechagoose? Something else with the lazers perhaps?

Boomstick Trolls His Co-Hosts By Wearing A Dreadful Outfit

Well, this started out as a back-up plan for if I wasn't able to get my April Fool's fanfic out on time, and then became something I stuck with anyway. Boomstick is wearing something I can only describe as the "oh no" outfit as part of some bizarre practical joke towards his co-workers. Wiz is exasperated, Jocelyn is horrified and Ringmaster considers this to be the ultimate crime against fashion. DUMMI on the other hand just doesn't care.

The inspiration for this outfit came from the 23rd Asterix graphic novel Obelix and Co., in which Obelix lets the success of his newly set-up menhir business get to his head and decides to have a new outfit for himself commissioned. The best way to describe what he ends up wearing is that it makes the wearer look like some sort of capitalist wrestling viking pimp. I had no problems with the cape being pink or having flowers on, mind you (even though it was made from a table cloth and therefore cheap), but the rest of it is just wrong. The cape is already a weird addition, the colour hues are too in-your-face, the patterns clash with each other, the pattern on the trousers in particular outright screams "stereotypical fat cat businessman" and the bow on the front is way too big. If the bow had been smaller, I would have been fine, but the size it ended up being just made it look absurd. Overall, I think it was just the context behind why he was wearing the outfit and how it showcased his newfound arrogance that repulsed me. The only good news about this is that the creators wanted the audience to be embarrassed by it anyway (also the fact that he went back to his original outfit once he realised the error of his ways and returned to his original friendlier self).

I'm not uploading screenshots of the actual outfit itself onto here in case of a copyright strike, but you can easily find it either from an internet search or just finding the book itself in a library or bookstore. Also, the graphic novel's great anyway (as is the rest of the series, excluding Asterix and the Falling Sky which Asterix fans like myself prefer to forget about) so you might as well check it out. :)

Unlike Obelix though, Boomstick knows that this outfit is bad. He just wants a reaction from the others. When you think about it, he's kind of a darker counterpart to Obelix - they both have moustaches, they're both plus size (NEVER call Obelix fat; he doesn't like that), they're both very chummy and energetic with sensitive and emotional sides and above all, they both ADORE a good fight.

Anyway, I might do another version of this outfit for another existing character if the mood strikes. I've already got an idea on who else to make one for, though more as a commentary of how their character has developed rather than just an April Fool's Day gag. Either way, hopefully Boomstick decides not to make this one his permanent outfit... ¬_¬