Dynamite's Diary - 16th August 2021

Well, the camping trip didn't turn out to be as straightforward as I thought it would be. Okay, maybe it was straightforward for the first two days. Super fun too. We got to see all kinds of cool creatures out in the wild and explore the nearby woods. Sure, there was a bit of an incident where Lottie and I got chased by some mad cows in a field, but I sure got a laugh out of it. Lottie claims that it was because I went too close to them, but c'mon, the calves were so cute! How could I not!

Lottie as always complained about how she would have preferred something different, but we just ignored her. Marlene started out unsure but seemed to ease into it eventually. By Sunday, she was already having fun climbing trees with us and checking out all the mushrooms and insects on them. As for Gemma, well...it's Gemma. Of course she was going to have the time of her life.

The problem mainly came with our last night. It was getting really late - I guess it was about 9pm - and we hadn't even had dinner yet. Gemma had gone off to the nearby bog so she could check out the bugs there. That just left Lottie, Marlene and I at the camp. Turns out our food supplies were getting low. I volunteered to go fishing for them.

"Ew no, are you serious?" Lottie groaned. "The way that you have to gut them-"

"Hey, I didn't say you were the one going fishing."

"And the smell! It's just - it's just gross, okay? You know it always makes me gag!"

"Well, you can have that or I could get some berries. And let's be honest, I'm not sure whether those are gonna be poisonous or not."

It was Marlene who spoke next. "Sure, I'll go with the fish option. I'm not sure about the berries either."

Lottie pouted but ultimately gave in. I left her and Marlene to sort out the campfire together whilst I headed over to the river. Sure, fishing's kinda dull since you sit there doing nothing for a while, but it's always worth when you manage to hook a big sucker.

And that's when I saw him. That weirdo.

You know how we'd planned not to got to any lakeside camps due to all the serial killers that lurk there? Well, one of them had made it over here anyway. Big hulking brute with bandages round his face and a machete in his hand. I guess he felt the same way that I did and that out in the complete open rather than in the forest or by the lake was the least obvious option.

I could have run away like Lottie would have done, but first of all, I'm not a wuss like that. Secondly, the dude probably would have caught up with me anyway. Besides, Dad had pretty much taught me that in situations like this, the fight solution really is the best one.

I decided to use the martial arts I'd learnt from Dad, and sure enough, they worked. That crazy masked lug was put in his place alright. Plus, I'd brought one of Dad's pistols along just in case, so I was able to put a bullet between his eyes. Guess he wasn't so tough after all. >:-)

Unfortunately, the guy was still able to jam that damn machete into the right side of my body before he died. Blood everywhere. What's more, he'd managed to peg me into a nearby tree in the process, so it made it pretty hard to move around. And it was at that moment of all things that Lottie and Marlene turned round and noticed what was happening.

I was thinking "just great" the whole time. I mean, Gemma was the one person I knew who had proper first-aid knowledge and she was some distance off studying insects. Lottie could have gone to fetch her, but she was screaming bloody murder the whole time.

Marlene was pretty shaken too. "Oh no! This is really bad! Um, let me help! No no, don't try and move it yourself, it might make things worst!"

She turned out to be a real life-saver there! The machete was out in no time and I could finally move again. Marlene wasn't so sure though.

"We need to get you to hospital! Quickly! Just try not to move too much, okay?"

I mean, I would have been perfectly fine anyway, but I appreciated Marlene's sentiment. I mean, she was still panicky but at least she had an idea what she was doing. Lottie in the meantime went to fetch Gemma just so we could have more first-aid people nearby.

So yeah, that's how I ended up in hospital with my dad coming to visit me the next day. We actually had a good laugh about it together - Dad says that I'm following in the family footsteps when it comes to surviving the odds. Honestly, I feel fine, even if I do get jabbing pains at times. I actually feel well enough to write all this down. The doctors are super spooked out though and are still worried about the possibility of an infection.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, I kept that machete. I mean, I'm fine with Dad teaching me how to use guns and all, but his training tends to get stale after a little while. Sure, I have explosives as well, but none of that really allows you to fight up close. Why not have some more versatility for a change? Of course, I had to persuade Gemma to get the machete over to Dad, since the hospital is obviously going to confiscate it.

I think I'll be fine to go home the next day. The doctors think otherwise, but we all know what my dad said. It's just family tradition that we survive shit that's meant to kill us. I'd really like to ask Dad about whether he had a similar camping trip back in the day. Knowing him, he probably did. X)