Dynamite's Diary - 17th September 2021

I invited my friends over to my Dad's shack today. Well, I'd been inviting them over for the past few days. It took them all a lot of persuading though. Marlene and Eliza claimed that they had other commitments on for most of the week. Lottie in particular was unwilling to come over because she'd seen my selfies from inside the place and didn't like the idea of a cramped shack with barely any electronic devices inside. And as for Steve, well, I already mentioned my reasons for not asking him. Gemma was pretty much the only person who said she could come.

But I was able to persuade my gal pals to come anyway! Sure, it took a bit of sugarcoating about the shack itself in order to get them to accept the idea, but it worked. So just before lunchtime at school, we all crept out the gates and got the train over to where the shack was.

Dad was still asleep when we came in. He's been sleeping in late for the past few days - probably because he's back at work and putting in a lot of effort. I tried calling for him as soon as we entered, by he didn't respond. He was snoring pretty loud too.

"Is he gonna wake up or what?" Lottie asked.

"No, no, he will. Watch this." I walked over to his bed.

As part of my training, I'm trying to see if I can sneak up on Dad whilst he's asleep and judo throw him out of the bed. I've never managed to do it successfully. He's like a wild animal when he senses he's being attacked. It doesn't matter who's supposedly attacking him - he just freaks out and doesn't hold back. I was determined to get it done this time though. I grabbed his shoulders and tried yanking him out.

Let's just say that it didn't work out this time either. Dad was instantly at it - first with the kick to the face (with his shotgun leg too!) and then springing from the bed and letting out these rolling punches that launched me into the air. Can I also just say that Dad was still asleep whilst this was happening?!

It ultimately ended with me being kicked into the ceiling with the shotgun leg again and slamming back down on the ground again. Dad did a little spin whilst he did it before collapsing himself - he's never been able to balance that well when performing that move. At that point he woke up, yawned and got off the ground.

It took him a few more seconds to realize I was on the floor in front of him. "That's right! Thought you could get away with - oh, it's you." He let out a sheepish chuckle. "Sorry 'bout that."

I guess I was pretty woozy myself after that fight. "I'm telling you Dad...someday I'll throw your ass out of that bed, and you won't notice a thing...jeez, my ribcage still aches."

We both laughed our asses off before he helped me off the ground. And then I turned to my pals and said "So girls, this is my dad. Say hello to him."

My mates are hilarious! They were all standing there with their mouths gaping open and their eyes widened. Except for Gemma though. She just snapped her fingers and said "Well, I guess that explains some things".

Lottie in particular was pale in the face. That would explain where that really loud screaming noise was coming from. And all she could mutter was "Do you-?!"

"Geez, what are you talking about Lottie? This is just my martial arts training!" Lottie has some really odd views at times. What did she think was happening?

My dad was a little annoyed that I brought a whole group of people over without telling him first. "Y'know, if I'd known anything about this, I would have prepared more of Mama's ghost pepper pie!"

At which point Lottie went even paler and needed to have a short rest.

Luckily, Dad was able to prepare lunch in no time at all. No ghost pepper pie, but he did serve up a few mushroom and pepper enchiladas, which everyone else was down for. Especially over ghost pepper pie. Even I still have problems trying to eat that without flinching.

Dad got to know more about my friends and was rather surprised about Marlene's connections with Marshall. It does seem that he's gone back to idolising the guy despite what happened during the summer, which is a bit of a shame. But hey, at least he seemed to get on well with Marlene, even if he was asking her all sorts of bizarre questions about her favorite action movies and whether she thought that T-Rexes or velociraptors were the superior dinosaurs. Marlene was nervously chuckling when answering some of these, but she did ease up after a while.

Dad did seem rather weary of Lottie though. Maybe it was because she mentioned that he should have a shave. Or the fact that she wanted to know where the flat screen TV was. Or the fact that her phone ringtone went off while we were having lunch and it just so happened to be the Hannah Montana theme. Good thing he was too busy eating his squirrel burger when that happened - that phone would have been smashed across the room otherwise before Lottie had a chance to answer it.

Anyway, the important thing is that lunch was a success and that everyone seemed to be (mostly) having a good time. Of course, we couldn't stay as long as I would have liked to have done - school lessons would be starting again at 2pm. So we said our goodbyes to Dad and headed back as quickly as we could.

We did get in trouble when we made it back to school - thirty minutes late for our afternoon lessons. Eliza was really miffed that this nearly lead to her second detention and in fact, it would have been Marlene's first detention ever. Fortunately, we were able to spin a yarn about how Marlene wasn't feeling well and that we had to make sure that she was okay in the girl's bathroom. So for now we're all off the hook. At least until the next time something like this happens.

When I got home after school, Dad was drinking from another beer can. "Hey Dad, how's it going?"

He just chuckled as he tossed the can under the bed. "Your friends are weird."

He's such a laugh, he is! We really need to do something like this again another time. Have Dad learn even more about my buds. Just make sure that Lottie's phone is off though. X)