Dynamite's Diary - 9th October 2021

Dad's been so on edge this week. I've never witnessed him like this before, and believe me, I've witnessed PLENTY of his meltdowns.

For instance, I called him up on Monday just to ask if I'd left my iPod at his place, since I couldn't find it anyway while at Mom's or at school. Yeah, being a suitcase kid with two divorced parents is pretty awkward stuff, especially if you swap houses weekly. He was just grumbling the whole time, and not even in a "you should remember this stuff yourself" sort of way. More like he was sleep deprived or something like that.

Then on Wednesday, I texted him just to check how he was getting on and he only responded with "Who cares?". He didn't even use emojis like he usually does. The same thing happened when I texted him on Thursday.

So I had to do it. I actually came over to his place on Friday just to see how he was doing and to make sure that he didn't implode or anything. I didn't even tell Mom where I was going - I just said I was going for a sleepover with friends and dashed off.

Dad was really not in a good state. He was losing his appetite, he just sat in silence, it was awful to watch. I really had no clue on how to lift his spirits up. I tried suggesting Terminator 2: Judgement Day, but he only seemed to want to watch the walls. I asked him what he wanted for dinner and he didn't even want to eat anything. He only wanted to drink the occasional can of beer. He has not been this bad since the time Marshall replaced him with Jocelyn as his DBX co-host, and now looking back at it, his breakdown then was actually pretty tame compared to this one.

There's one silver lining though, and that's that I was able to find out what was going on, even if he only spurted it out in short sentence fragments. He's been thinking about his father yet again, and he's getting more desperate about it. Just as I suspected. He can't make up his mind as to whether he genuinely wants to patch things up with him or whether he just wants to bash his head out with a rock. Or even both.

If Dad carries on like this on Sunday, I don't know how things will sort themselves out. He and Wiz are doing a milestone episode for their web series, and I'm worried that his mood might get in the way of it. I really don't want him to break down crying on camera like he's done before, especially if he's in this much of a state.

I have an idea on what I'll do. Tomorrow, I'll head over to the studio with him and wait backstage, just in case something happens. Then if he does have a breakdown, I'll be there to help him out. Simple, right? Besides, I've always wanted a bit of internet fame myself and maybe appearing on screen could help me out there...

Urgh! I sound so selfish saying it like that. No, forget about internet fame, the important thing is making sure that Dad's okay. Making sure that he snaps out of his bad mood and that he mentally recovers. Sounds good enough. Now I just need to be sure that I get up on time tomorrow...